This has been by far the toughest week of my entire pregnancy. Maybe it’s because I’ve been so blessed with no problems at all that I found the struggles I faced this past week so difficult to cope with.
After the last scan on Tuesday, and a double check by the doctor and the midwife on Thursday, I have to face the reality and state the fact: my baby is tiny. Even though Frosty is growing, they’re following a growth curve that’s going way below the average.
The sonographer took the measurement of Frosty’s head circumference, femur length and abdominal circumference, scored them in percentiles, and then used an algorithm to calculate a solid esteem of the baby’s weight. It turned out that my beloved Frosty weighs a little less than 2kg (1916g, 4.2lbs) and falls into the 8th percentile. This means that out of 100 babies at 34 weeks, only 8 are smaller than Frosty.
My fundal height confirms their petite size: while it should measure 34cm, my womb is only 30.5cm long.
Another not-so-good-news is that during the scan Frosty was placed in a transverse position: this means they won’t ever be able to pass through the birth canal if they stay this way, and I would need a c-section to get them out, putting myself, my uterus (which could get a bad rupture!) and the baby at risk due to this very baby’s positioning.
The only good news is that my placenta and the cord blood flow are working above the average, touching a nice 92th percentile – out of 100 placentas, only eight work better than mine. The worst nightmare possible is ruled out thankfully: pre-eclampsia.
This is reassuring, because it means that my body is doing its best to pass all the nutrients Frosty needs. This is confirmed also by my baby being extremely active at any time.
You can’t have flowers without rain
After 24 hours of desperation and blaming myself for already being a terrible mother who can’t provide to their yet-unborn-child, my mind reacted to the above mentioned fact-checks.
I keep repeating this title phrase as a mantra: you cannot get blossomed, wonderful flowers if there’s not rain to water them. Seemingly, life can’t come without difficulties to face, and you cannot have the best things without a bit of ups and downs and challenges to overcome.
This is the very first issue happened to me since I got pregnant, and that’s most likely why it hit me so bad: I am not get used to that, and I haven’t developed any coping mechanism to recover from such bad news or hiccups.
The reality is that I’m 150cm tall (5 feet), and even if Franz is a regular-size human, I am not. I wonder if I fall into the 3rd percentile of the British (or Italian!) people in size, weight and height: if I don’t, how could I possibly think my baby would be above the 10th or 20th percentile, at least?
As long as they’re getting all the nutrients and the umbilical blood circulation is fine, I must think positive.
If anything, I love my baby even more now, because being a petite human in a world of big or regular size people is not easy, and I know Frosty will be a tiny grinding warrior like their mother. They’ll be fine.
On the other hand, the medical staff want to stay on the super extra safer side, so they booked me another scan at week 36 – mainly to check on Frosty’s position – and another check-in with the midwife, at 36 weeks as well.
Depending on the results of the scan, we’ll evaluate whether I might need a scheduled birth (either by induction or c-section). The doctor alerted me also of a small increased chance to go into early labour, but I don’t want to think about that.
Despite Frosty’s tiny size, they have grown this week: my weight went up from 49.6kg (109.3lbs) to 50.1kg (110.4lbs).
I can definitely say it’s 90% baby’s growth because only my tummy looks bigger this week – if anything, my arms and quads are smaller in cm, while my hips have enlarged even more in preparation of birth.
The antenatal classes end this upcoming week, with the last lesson focusing on how to keep a newborn alive once you’re home after birth.
I’ve been asked by the midwife to stay nice and calm, and keep my radar well alerted should Frosty stops moving.
I need to keep living my life and complete my 8th month of pregnancy in the most serene way possible, so to positively start the very last short leg of this journey. I do hope this little tornado will finally settle in my womb as expected (hello anterior position!) to facilitate a speedy and smoothly delivery. I look forward to meeting Frosty’s lovely, tiny face, and finally tell them that no matter how small their size, they’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.